Falling in love has never been so sweet until you find yourself in love with a commitment phobe. You have moments of feeling as if you are out of your mind when in fact, you are not. Loving a commitment phobe is not easy because they can take you from love, to a lack of trust overnight. You’ve poured out your heart and shared all, but they still do not let you in. Yet they are everything you dream of and they know it. Don’t get too happy, you are looking at fool’s gold. It’s a commitment phobe’s job to knock you off your feet and force you into a dream state of love. You realize that you on the other hand have been giving more of yourself in the relationship while your new love just takes. You are not sure if you ought to stay or walk away, but you are in love and when one is in love they work things out. News flash, commitment phobes are selfish individuals, they are not in the business of getting their heart broken. They have been where you are at, love to a commitment phobe is just another sign of weakness, they want it, but have major trust issues.
You Will Need Patience!
Loving a commitment phobe means you will need to have a lot of patience. If you have not noticed most commitment phobes love to cycle in and out of love. Commitment phobes love to test your patience because they say one thing and do something completely different. Commitment phobes come in fast when it comes to love, but they rarely live up to the expectation. If you are thinking that a commitment phobe can give love, you’re wrong, they can’t. Once more commitment phobes love to see you work for their love and attention. It puts them in a place of safety, better you than them is their way of thinking. If you want the relationship to work, it will take you understanding the type of commitment phobe you are dealing with. No two commitment phobes are the same, while one may struggle with trust issues, another with difficulty in showing compassion.
What Makes a Commitment Phobe Fearful of love?
Whatever you do, don’t say the word love. Commitment phobes run when they hear those words. They are not ready to give their heart away to anyone, especially you. Sure they made you fall in love with them, because they knew what to say and how to behave, but that’s what makes a commitment phobe the perfect companion, they know what you want and how to give it to you. The problem is, they are not stable nor do they keep up anything that they’ve promised you. Why is it so hard letting go of a commitment phobe? Caring more than a commitment phobe is what gets many people in trouble with their heart. You simply can’t allow yourself to be put in a cycling relationship where the other person does not care to work as hard as you in making things right. The fear of not finding that special person is what keeps you up at night, but a commitment phobe knows how to act, they can be anything you need and desire. Learn to love yourself and want the best in life. Don’t settle for promises that won’t come true, you must make a commitment phobe prove him/herself before you give your heart away.
Commitment phobes have a hard time giving their true self in a relationship. This is because they are not comfortable with letting anyone in no matter how good the relationship is. Commitment phobes can be shy and withdrawn in relationships. If you are not careful you will end up hurt by a commitment phobe. Still people find themselves in love with commitment phobes every day. Commitment phobes talk a good game, but they are never able to take the relationship to the next level. They are in and out of love in six weeks or less for fear of commitment. Below is a list of what a commitment phobe struggles with:
o Trust issues
A oneness mindset will never be that of a commitment phobe, they are too busy trying to find the exit route. Commitment phobes have a love’em and leave’em type of attitude. Nine times out of ten they have been hurt in more relationships than they would want to count. Now they are afraid of love or the thought of loving someone outside of themselves. They seem to be the perfect companion, but that’s a stretch given how many times they’ve been in and out of relationships.
I love discussions on relationship issues on love and commitment, which is why I released a self-help series that covers just that topic alone, “Sabotage One and Sabotage Two,” with more titles coming on relationship issues this year.
I’ve been writing for over 18 years and have published a variety of books from children’s books to self-help books dealing with relationship, personal growth and conflict issues. As a relationship expert, life couch and author helping others is what I do. Ask Johanna Consulting service is created for my readers and those who have questions pertaining to love and life issues. Visit me at www.johannasparrow.com or on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Johanna-Sparrow/e/B00N8EB3J2/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1
New self-help book releases coming in 2016:
Sabotage 3, How to Handle a Commit-A-Phobe
Adult Sibling Envy
The Seven Sins of Love
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When visiting Johanna Sparrow’s site, you will find a bevy of self-help books covering a variety of topics from love, commitment issues, dating, relationships and life issues.
Originally published at https://www.nfreads.com/article/im-in-love-with-a-commitment-phobe/